Last Minute Christmas Cake

This was emailed to me today. I've seen it on a couple of blogs as well so I thought I'd share it with you.

You must sample this Christmas cake recipe.

Ingredients:

* 2 cups flour

* 1 stick butter

* 1 cup of water
* 1 tsp baking  soda
* 1 cup of  sugar
* 1 tsp salt
* 1 cup of  brown sugar
*  Lemon juice
* 4  large eggs
*  Nuts
* 2  bottles wine
* 2  cups of dried fruit

Sample the wine to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the wine again. To be sure  it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat.  Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy  bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best  to make sure the wine is still OK. Try another cup... just in case.  Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and  chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick the fruit up off floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets  stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample  the wine to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or  something. Check the wine. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your  nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever  you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try  not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally,  throw the bowl through the window. Finish the wine and wipe counter  with the cat. Go to Waitrose and buy cake.

Bingle  Jells!